Bookworms & Apples
by Nonya B. Swackz
Summary: Edith finds she secretly loves reading, but if Gru and Margo find out they'd never let her hear the end of it. Can she and Agnes keep her secret, or will Margo get the chance to do the "in-your-face"?
1. A Bookworm Is Born

BOOKWORMS & APPLES, A DESPICABLE ME ONE-SHOT

A/N:

-Credit to caffeinated fanfiction, from whom I got the idea for Margo's communication difficulties which I think I'll be using in most of my fics from now on.

-This fic was inspired by a dream I had, which in turn was inspired by the 'SpongeBob' episode "Just One Bite".

Everyone who knew the Gru girls knew they each had their own favorite things: Agnes liked unicorns and fairy princesses, Edith liked airplanes and ninjas, and Margo liked books and math.

And one day while they were playing in the playroom of their mansion, Margo decided to offer Edith a book to read, one about planes.

"Pfft," the 7-year-old scoffed, having her doll crash her plane into a toy castle. "I don't READ, Margo."

"You never know, you might like it, Edith," Margo said, bringing the book (titled 'Anna Green's Flight Quest', by S.E. Hart) closer to her middle sister.

"NO!" Edith crashed her plane into the book, pushing it back in the process. "Reading is for EGGHEADS like you, Big Sis."

"I am NOT an 'egghead', I am well-read," Margo scowled defensively. "Now read it and WEEP!"

The 10-year-old shoved 'Anna Green' in her tomboyish sister's face again.

Edith scowled back and pushed the book away.

"I don't know what 'weep' means," she said. "But the answer's still 'No'!"

And she stalked off to go do something else.

...

The rest of the day became formulaic, with Margo still - futilely - trying to get Edith to read 'Anna Green'.

At the dinner table:

*MARGO PUSHES BOOK TOWARDS EDITH'S PLACEMAT*

*EDITH SHOVES BOOK BACK*

"No!"

In the living room, while Edith was watching 'SpongeBob' with Agnes:

*MARGO HANDS EDITH ONE OF HER COMIC BOOKS WITH 'ANNA GREEN' TUCKED SECURELY INSIDE*

*EDITH SWATS THE BOOK OUT OF HER SISTER'S HANDS*

"No! And don't touch my stuff!"

In the playroom:

*MARGO PLACES OPEN 'ANNA GREEN' ON TOP OF EDITH'S COLORING BOOK WHILE SHE'S GETTING A NEW CRAYON*

*EDITH TOSSES BOOK ACROSS THE ROOM*

"No!"

And finally, in their bedroom...

Edith had just come out of the bathroom, all dressed in her polka-dot footie pajamas, and was faced with her 10-year-old sister holding 'Anna Green' as if it were a silver platter, a smug smile on her face.

Edith pulled on the tassels of her beloved wool hat, letting out a growl of irritation.

"OK, OK! I'll read your stupid book!"

She snatched the book out of her sister's hands and set it on the side of her bomb bed.

Margo looked rather pleased with herself.

"I knew you'd come to your senses sooner or later."

Edith chose to ignore her.

"I'll read it first thing in the morning. But I won't like it."

Agnes pointed to the book and giggled. "Boo'!"

Margo beamed; Edith whinnied.

...

After he'd read them their favorite bedtime story and was tucking them in, the girls' dad couldn't help but notice the book by Edith's bed.

"Edith, yur READING!?" he remarked, surprised. Usually, he had to fight to get the 7-year-old to do her book reports; he still had a bruise on his ankle from where 'Charlotte's Web' had been thrown at him.

"Margo's making me do it," Edith replied. There was a hint of whine to her voice, as though she were hoping her daddy would tell her she didn't have to do it.

Instead, Gru chuckled and ruffled up his 7-year-old daughter's hair underneath her wool hat.

"Atta gurl, Edith! Reading eez good for leetle gurls like yoo!"

He gave Edith a second kiss on the forehead. The little girl turned a bright shade of pink; though she'd never admit it, she actually LIKED getting extra kisses from Daddy.

And so Gru wished the girls goodnight and exited the bedroom, leaving the nightlight on as usual.

...

THE NEXT DAY...

Edith woke up to find her older sister poking her with 'Anna Green', a smug smile still etched on her face. (Notably, the tomboy had been sucking her thumb in her sleep).

The 7-year-old groaned, pushed her tassel hat out of her gray eyes, and snatched the book out of the bookworm's hands.

"I hate you," she grumbled, opening the novel to Page #1.

Margo just giggled.

...

As Edith began to read, her disgusted expression slowly turned blank. She read all morning long - at breakfast, in the shower, getting dressed, during chores, etc.

Then at noon, Edith closed the book, having finally finished the first chapter.

Margo looked up from the doll she was dressing and gazed at her little sister expectantly, waiting for the final verdict.

"So, what'cha think?"

"Um, it was -" Edith said slowly.

She chucked the book across the room, making her bookish older sister gasp, scandalized.

"HORRIBLE!" the pink-loving tomboy exclaimed. "A COMPLETE waste of my time! Reading is for smarty-pants eggheads like you, Margo, and I'M not an egghead. I'm a GAMER, and don't you forget it!"

Margo had her head bowed, disappointment etched into her face. Agnes, meanwhile, was watching this scene with innocent hazel eyes, sucking her thumb and clutching her beloved bowlbrush unicorn toy.

Margo said she'd been sure Edith would love the book, but reading's not for everybody, she guessed. Sadly, she left the playroom to go tell their dad the disappointing news.

As soon as Margo left the room, Edith dashed over to where 'Anna Green' lay smacked against the wall, caressing it as though it were a baby doll.

"Oh my golly, I'm so sorry I had to throw you like that, sweetie," she cooed, holding the book close and running a hand over the cover as if to soothe it. "It's OK, Bookie. Mama's here."

And with that, Edith sat down on one of the beanbags and began to read again.

She read all afternoon while Agnes played with her toys right beside her, finishing the final chapter just in time for her dad to announce dinner was ready.

Collapsing on her beanbag, Edith sighed and hugged the book tightly before an awful realization hit her: SHE WAS AN EGGHEAD.

...

A FEW MINUTES LATER, AT THE DINNER TABLE...

The Grus were having hamburgers that night, and as usual the middle child would NOT shut up, but what made this noteworthy was what she was talking about: airplanes.


	2. Dinner with the Grus

Edith had been fascinated with planes ever since she saw a prototype for a fighter plane Dr. Nefario had been building in her dad's lab. She'd read J-bios about planes at the library (these were about the only "books" Gru could ever get her to read, aside from the comics she normally read), watch plane movies, and play plane games on her GameCube. Sometimes she even claimed she wanted to be a pilot when she grew up.

"Hey, Uncle Nefario, does that plane you're making Dad come with machine guns?" the 7-year-old asked excitedly.

"Yes, but I haven't installed 'em yet," Dr. Nefario answered sheepishly.

"In a boo - movie I watched, there was this girl," Edith gushed, taking another bite of her burger. "And she had this plane that had machine guns and net launchers and bombs filled with sleeping gas!"

Margo chuckled. "Wow. Too bad you didn't like 'Anna Green', Edith. That sounds EXACTLY like her plane."

To the 10-year-old's surprise, her little sister turned an even brighter shade of pink than her wool hat before returning to her burger.

...

AFTER DINNER...

Edith decided she wanted - no, NEEDED - another book to read. The only problem with that was their dad kept the library under lock and key, and it'd be WAY too embarrassing for her to ask him for a book to read. Fortunately, however, Agnes had been following her all day, and it wouldn't be hard for her to ask her dad if she could get her little sister a book...

Agnes was 5 years old and she still couldn't formulate complete sentences. They didn't know why; the doctor told Gru she was perfectly healthy, but he thought it might be a psychological problem. Perhaps a result of posttraumatic stress from Ms. Hattie's abuse?

...

ONE CHEAP TRICK LATER...

Edith was giving Agnes a quick talking-to on their way to the library on the third floor of the mansion.

"Now, Agnes, you can't tell Daddy, Margo, Gram, Uncle Nefario, or ANYONE about my new L-O-V-E of books, OK? 'Cuz if you do, I'll eat all your cotton candy."

Unfortunately, however, Edith's plan failed; when Margo saw her exiting the library, she thought the ninja book she was carrying had been dropped by one of their Dad's Minions, so the bookish girl took it and put it back in the library.

Tears welled up in Edith's gray eyes, and she began to cry softly.


	3. Late-Night Reading

LATER THAT NIGHT...

Edith woke up in a cold sweat, having had a dream in which she danced with a book to "Why Can't This Be Love" by Van Halen.

Adjusting her tassel hat with a determined, hungry sneer, the 7-year-old knew what she had to do: she HAD to get another book to read. So she went to the key cup in the living room, got a footstool, fished around in the cup until she found the keys to the library, and opened the door to the second most beautiful thing she'd seen all day: a whole maze of books just begging to be devoured.

Edith grabbed the ninja book Margo had taken from her earlier, kissed it, and was about to dive in when suddenly -

"What are you doing?" a familiar voice asked.

The tomboy flinched, turned around, and gasped upon seeing her big sister in the doorway, looking confused.

"I - uh - I - uh," she stammered. "What are YOU doing here?"


	4. Say It!

"I - uh - I - uh," she stammered. "What are YOU doing here?" She pointed to Margo with her book in her hand, which she quickly hid behind her back.

"I was following you," the 10-year-old math girl replied, fiddling with her brown ponytail as she tried to solve the puzzle. "Why are you in the library?"

Edith gave a nervous gulp. "I, uh, I, uh-"

"And why are you stammering and acting so nervous?" Margo persisted, increasingly dumbfounded. "And why are you hiding 'Tales of Jack the Ninja' behind your back? And why - ?"

Suddenly it hit the brunette like that time her sister (Edith) had accidentally whacked her with a baseball bat, and she couldn't help but crack a smug grin, arms folded triumphantly against her chest.

Edith, desperate and pink-faced, began to panic, sweating up a storm and having what could only be described as a twitchy fit.

"I-it's not what it looks like, Margo..."

Her bossy big sister wouldn't budge, further upsetting her.

"YOU MAY BE OLDER, BIG SIS, BUT I'M STILL A NINJA!" Edith whisper-shouted, stomping her feet in a little mini-tantrum.

"Say it," Margo demanded, looking like she was about to snicker, which was totally unlike her.

Indignantly, Edith pulled her hat down over her bright gray eyes and turned away from her bookish sister, pouting and not even bothering to hide her book anymore.

"No."

"Say it," Margo prodded, shaking her little sister.

Edith shoved her hands away and turned another direction. "No!"

"Say it or I'll put makeup on you!"

Edith gasped and finally pulled her hat up, scowling at her sister with only her silvery eyes betraying her fear.

"You wouldn't dare...!"

Ever since she wound up at the orphanage at age 4, it had been quite clear that Edith was a tomboy who liked skirts and the color pink but otherwise hated girly things. She'd play with cars and trucks while all the other girls played with dolls, which she still does to this day.

"Fine!" Edith pouted, her lip trembling slightly. "I'm an egghead."

She glanced at her grinning older sister briefly before banging the library door shut and locking it.

"WHOO-HOO!" the pink-loving 7-year-old cheered, knocking books off the shelf and speed-reading them with buttloads of gleeful, bottled-up energy. "YOU GOT ME, MARGO! I LOOOOVE READING!"

"I knew it, Li'l Sis," Margo chuckled, shaking her head fondly at her middle sister's high-energy antics. "EVERYONE likes to read at least a little!"

Edith continued speed-reading, giggling madly at Rev. Awdry's "Thomas the Tank Engine" series.

Not long after, Gru and


	5. The Dangers of Speed-Reading

Agnes came to the library hall, awakened by Edith's ruckus.

"Margo?" her dad said, rubbing the boogers out of his eyes. "Vut's going on here? Vy aren't too een bed?"

"Your daughter just found out she likes to read," Margo smirked, pointing with her thumb to the library door.

Gru chuckled proudly. "Atta gurl, Edith!"

A few minutes later, however, a dreadful thought occurred to Margo.

"Wait, Edith!" she called, pounding on the door. "You're not speed-reading a crap-load of books at once, are you!?"

Edith paused in the middle of a book about sand castles, her gray eyes bloodshot and a small hand on her hip.

"So what if I am? They're all grade-level!"

"That's not the point! If too speed-read a bunch of books at once, something really bad'll happen!"

Overwhelmed at the prospect of one of his beloved daughters getting hurt, Gru fainted, making Agnes poke his head curiously.

"Pfft! Oh yeah?" Edith scoffed, as coquettish as ever. "What'll happen? Will my head EXPLODE?"

"No! First you'll turn purple!" Margo said.

Edith looked down at her hands, which slowly turned a deep shade of violet.

"...then steam'll blow out your ears..."

The 7-year-old felt white-hot steam blow out her ears.

"...and THEN your head will explode!"

Edith felt like her brain was on fire, then she passed out.

...

Later, in the back of an ambulance...

"Daddy..." moaned a barely-conscious Edith. "Reading is SO much fun, Daddy..."

"I know, Squirt, I know," Gru said, patting her hand.

Just then Agnes handed her dad a book about unicorns.

"Re'-re-!"

The end!


End file.
